Eeyore Bemoans His Condition

Hallo, Christopher Robin. I hope you've had a better week than I have. Roo's got it in his head he's a cowboy, and since he needs a horse I obliged him. Three days this week. Not that I'm complainin', mind you. It's the most company I've had in weeks. But if I had a spine, I'm sure my back would be sprained by now. That kangaroo is as bouncy as Tigger. An then I read that story your friend wrote, and all I get is a passing mention, and a derogatory one at that. "What is it? You sound like Eeyore." Why not "What is it? You sound like Rabbit"? Why can't somebody write a story about me for a change?
Morosely,
Eeyore